How Being Unoffendable Works For Me

First let me say, on rare occasions I do become offended. But when that happens I almost always recognize it and immediately repent.

Having gotten that of the way,

How do I stay unoffendable?

Maybe my ability to handle offenses comes from a childhood full of them.

What I knew about myself when I was growing up was that  I was ugly and stupid and nothing I did would ever work out right.

After I gave my life to Jesus and the healing of how I saw myself had begun,  I would see others behaving in shameful ways, and  the first thoughts that would pop into my mind was/is “What happened to them, to make them like that? What did they go through as children, that they would think that kind of behavior is acceptable?”

I know why I acted out as a child. I needed attention. I craved attention and when I didn’t get the attention at home, I would behave badly at school or girl scouts or any other occasion I was in that wasn’t at home. If I couldn’t get attention from being good, I would get attention from being a problem. Back then I knew I was a trouble maker but I felt that I was never given the chance to shine in a good way.

Fast forward to me being 50+ years old.

I’ve learned from hard lessons and tender teachings that I am more valuable to the Lord than I could ever imagine!  In His eyes I can do no wrong!  I am beautiful, really smart and there are many things that  I do really well.

When I understood that, I gained more patience and tenderness toward those around me, especially in the church. I remind myself that Jesus loves each and every difficult person just as much as He loves me and if my goal is to emulate Him, then I need to Love them too. I so often recognize my old self in their behaviors.

Heidi Baker, church builder in Mozambique, Africa, has a standard she lives by and now I do too.

“Stop for the one.”

I am to look into the eyes of the person in front of me, no matter who they are, no matter what they look like or even what they smell like and love them the same way Jesus loves me. And I am to honor them by being friendly and respectful to them.

Easier said than done, huh? But the more you practice it, the easier it becomes.

“So,” you might ask, “what about people who go against everything I stand for? What if the person in front of me isn’t a Christian? What if that person is Jewish or Buddhist or Hindu or Wiccan? What if they’re an atheist? What if they’re pro-choice? Anti family? Gay or trans or bisexual? How do I love them?”

Don Fransisco, a Christian singer songwriter wrote the lyrics, “Love is not a feeling, it’s an act of your will.” That has stuck with me since the first time I heard it. So, to act in charity towards others doesn’t depend on how you feel. You are free to love others even if you don’t like them.

When I deal with difficult people outside my faith, I tell myself, “What if I’m the only Christian who treats them  with honor and respect? What if no one emulates Christ for them? I might be the only one. If I’m the only one, then I better do a good job!

So I love them.

I know that the Lord has given me a special gift in my ability to become friends with all kinds of people others might not want to befriend. I notice the quirky in them. (That’s because I’m quirky too.)
I find it easy to talk to quirky people. We recognize something in each other and when they realize that I’m reaching out to them they fall easily into conversation.

I’m not saying that befriending people with issues is easy but I can say that it yields great rewards!

I consider myself to be an eccentric. Other eccentrics seem drawn to me and I have found that they are a wealth of ideas and concepts, who easily join the circle of people I have around me. 

When someone says something strange or uncouth or just wrong in front of me, I remember how precious they are to Jesus and I accept that they may not be able to be different and if they are, berating them won’t help.

But I do stand my ground. A few months ago I was visiting a friend in a nursing home and one of the other residents starting talking badly about a certain ethnic group. I told him he needed to stop but he kept right on, even through the warnings I gave him. After the third warning, I told him I would have to leave if he continued and I stood up. He stopped. When I saw him on later visits, I would smile and say hi.

What does it mean to be unoffendable?

1. Take into consideration why a person says what they do.
Recognize the Lord loves EVERYONE.
2. Set aside differences. Their morals might be completely different from yours but they are still a human being and because Jesus says so, they are worthy of respect.
3. Think about their eternal future and tell yourself you might be
 the only Christian they’ll ever meet.
4.You can learn a lot from a quirky person. Take the time to get to know them.
5. Allow yourself to be affected for good in the way an eccentric person relates to you.